The line of companies willing to beg for money from Congress has just grown
longer. Consumers Reports has requested a Congressional bail out hearing.
In its petition, Consumers Reports cites the costs of massive restructuring
due to circumstances totally beyond its control. Consumers Reports claims
that since it doesn't take advertising, it is the only unbiased source of
product information available to consumers, and thus has a vital role that
must be preserved.

The magazine's anticipated restructuring costs are due to the impending
demise of GM, Ford, and Chrysler. With those companies gone, and only
foreign cars to rate, CRs reliability ratings will indicate a statistical
impossibility: all vehicles are better than average.

It was originally thought the data could be adjusted at minimal cost using
standard statistical methodology so an appropriate number of vehicles would
be rated below average. However CR learned standard statistical
methodology cannot be used to ajust data not compiled using standard
statistical methodology.

The compilation of CRs reliability data starts when someone subscribes to
the magazine. They then read an article in CR on the vehicle they own
which tells them whether its good or bad. Then they receive the
reliability questionaire, which they answer according to the CR article.

"Somehow we have to get some vehicles rated below average", said CR
spokesman Justin Jest "but we can't just produce a bunch of negative
articles on foreign vehicles over night. It takes time. And money. We
need and deserve government help. This problem is not of our making"

Initially, negative articles are planned on the companies formerly
associated with the Detroit automakers, Isuzu, Mazda, and Mitsubishi. A
template for the articles has already been prepared. "Estimated
reliability is suspect, as <Isuzu/Mazda/Mitsubishi> was formerly associated
with <GM/Ford/Chrysler>." But still, that won't be enough as these
companies have minimal market share.

"They're going to have to take aim at one of the big boys to get the
numbers" said Joseph Camel of the Brand Research Institute. "They're
counting on India's Tata Motors coming to America, but while that will give
them the bottom end, the numbers will be too small."

Mr. Camel thinks Kia is the only possible target. When asked if perhaps
Toyota or Honda might be a better target for lower reliability ratings, Mr.
Jest responded "No, we have a policy at CR against attacking people's
religion".